Friday Photo - 1st Edition: Smile

 In the interest of being able to consistently add at least one post a week to my blog, and being inspired by some other blogs I regularly read, I decided to start doing a recurring "Friday Photo" post where I basically pick one (or maybe sometimes a few) of my favorite pictures that I'm able to get of Brock during that particular week.

This week's picture was easy to choose since it was the first time I was able to catch his big smile on camera. I got this right after he had eaten and had his diaper changed. Who wouldn't be this happy with a full belly and fresh bottom? I tried and tried to get another one of him looking directly at the camera, but he was over it quickly. Love that gummy grin.

Keeping it Real

After a particularly difficult day with the little one, I thought it would be as good a time as ever to write a post I've been meaning to write for a few weeks now. I titled it my "Keeping it Real" post because I want to make sure that I don't gloss over all the hairy details of the first two months with a newborn and make it seem like it has just been blissfully simple. It has not. Another blog I've been reading lately suggested the value of writing down the good and the bad with each child so that you aren't tempted to look back on those newborn stages with rose-colored glasses and think, "It is so much harder with this second (or third or fourth or whatever) child than it was with the first one" because we tend to forget or minimize the worst parts. So I narrowed it down to a list of the top five frustrations I've encountered during the newborn stage with Brock.

1. NO SLEEP: Ok, this one is no surprise. I knew I would be getting a lot less sleep with a newborn baby, but I didn't realize how much it would affect me. I'm a big lover of sleep. I could still do the teenager thing and sleep til noon on Saturdays if I didn't have anything else to do, and I can take a nap at any time of day. But for the past two months I've been running on generally no more than 2 to 4 hours of consecutive sleep at a time. I may have gotten 6 straight hours one or two nights and that was amazing, but for the most part it probably averages out to 3 hours at a time. When I'm tired, I'm more irritable, more emotional, and more impatient and none of those are helpful when dealing with a newborn. As a matter of fact, I'm betting that if I was able to get a full night's sleep every night, there would probably be a few less items on this gripe list. But I am so longing for the time when Brock starts sleeping through the night consistently because this 3 hour dining routine is a killer.
2. CONSTANT SELF-DOUBT: This one is probably the most frustrating for me. I am used to feeling confident about my decisions because I usually try to make well-informed ones. I generally don't question myself or worry that I'm doing the right thing... or at least I didn't until I had a baby. Maybe it's because there are a million and one parenting theories out there and one gives you a guideline that another theory will say is completely wrong. I let Brock cry it out and I worry that he's going to feel like I abandoned him or that there's something physically hurting him that I'm unaware of. I hold him or rock him to sleep and worry that I'm spoiling him or preventing him from becoming independent. See what I mean? I don't know who coined the term "mother's intuition" but I don't think I've developed it yet because I never feel certain that what I'm doing is the best thing. 
3. NO RESPONSES: I know one person who doesn't give me much input about whether I'm doing a good or bad job, and that would be the baby himself. Newborns just aren't very responsive. When Brock finally smiled for the first time I saw the light at the end of our newborn tunnel, but it's still a really long tunnel and we're still in it. It is hard work developing a relationship with someone who won't look at me, laugh at my hilarious jokes, hug me back, or give me even the slightest verbal or nonverbal affirmation that all my efforts are worth it. Is it so wrong of me to want a little more than the crying, eating, sleeping, pooping system we currently have in place? 
4. HYPER-SENSITIVITY: What I mean by this is that I have become keenly aware and very sensitive to criticism when it comes to the subject of my parenting skills. This probably relates to the constant self-doubt and my insecurity about whether I'm doing everything right, but I get really internally frustrated when people question what I'm doing. I'm learning that most women over the age of 65 don't like to see babies with bare feet even if it's 90 degrees outside and the baby is otherwise fully clothed. I'm learning that lots of people do not like to hear a baby make any noises when they're asleep because it must mean they're uncomfortable or in pain or need something. What I have yet to learn is that everyone is going to have something to say, and I will drive myself crazy if I personalize everything and assume they are all questioning my parenting ability.
5. LITTLE CONSISTENCY: I try to be as consistent as possible in my parenting techniques but my son does not return the favor. One day he eats on a clockwork schedule and I know exactly what to expect because he goes right along with the plan. The next day the schedule gets shot to pieces and Brock comes up with his own plan (today was one of those days). Some nights he goes right to sleep when we lay him down and others he decides to cry and fuss at us for an hour. A lot of days I feel like we take one step forward and then two steps back. There is just no certainty with a newborn, and as I should have remembered from our birth experience, nothing goes according to plan.

So I feel a little like a negative nancy after this post. I'm not trying to whine or complain because I am very grateful to have this little boy and I do love watching him grow and change every day. It can be a very rewarding experience in some ways, but I just have to be honest that the newborn stage is definitely not my favorite. The more he is growing out of this stage, the more excited and confident I become. Don't get me wrong, I love him more than anything else in the world, but I do not love the stage of newborn-ness. And I hope it's ok to admit that. Every day that he is able to focus on my face a little more or smile in response to my smile or give a little giggle, I feel a little happier inside and a little more certain that Brock is indeed a human being.

Let me just close by saying that a lot of this post has had a tongue-in-cheek tone to it, and I don't want anyone worrying that I'm suffering from postpartum depression and at my wits end. I am so happy with my little family and feel very blessed to have what I have. Brock really is a very good baby and Blaine is an incredibly helpful husband and I could have it so much worse, but it is a huge adjustment introducing a baby into your life. It is sometimes one of the scariest, most intimidating, most unrewarding, and most physically demanding things that I think I will ever experience. But as the cliche goes, I would (and will eventually) do it again in a heartbeat!

Two Months

The babe is two months old today. We survived two months, which is something to celebrate (I think I'll post another blog about how difficult it really is having a newborn just so I can remember with our subsequent children). Brock went to the doctor today for his checkup and immunizations (so sad). He now weighs 11 pounds, 10 ounces (about the 50th percentile), so he gained 2 lbs, 2 oz since last month. He is 22 1/4 inches long, up one inch from last month, but this is only about the 28th percentile so he's a little short for his age right now. He's going to be like his mom - growing horizontally instead of vertically ;)

Here are some of Brock's accomplishments and patterns this past month:

• He moved to the crib in his own room at 5 weeks and now takes all his naps there too.
• He smiled his first smile around 6 weeks, which was incredibly rewarding and finally made him seem like more of a real person to me and not as much of a blob.
• His first public outing was at 6 weeks when we went to the Cornbread Festival (you might be a redneck if your first public outing is to the Cornbread Festival), and he went to church for the first time the next day, on May 1.
• He can stay awake for longer periods of time now but usually no more than an hour or so. He loves watching the ceiling fan and occasionally he'll engage with us and watch our faces when we talk to him.
• He eats every 3 to 3.5 hours like clockwork during the day and generally goes 4 to 5 hours at night. Last night he actually slept from 11:00 to 6:00 which was very exciting for me!
• He outgrew his newborn clothes and diapers at about 5 weeks old. He's also starting to get too long for the boppy lounger which makes me kind of sad because we have gotten such good use out of that thing (see my favorite things post).
• He's gaining more control of his arms but still needs to be swaddled to sleep well. He also loves kicking and stretching his legs and isn't so squished up like he was the first month.
• He's still not a big fan of tummy time and pretty much yells at us after a few minutes of it, but he's gaining a lot more head control and can almost hold it up by himself when sitting. He likes sitting in the bumbo seat to get exercise.
• He can imitate some of our facial expressions like sticking out his tongue and raising his eyebrows and smiling.
• He got me flowers for Mother's Day. Blaine said Brock told him that's what he wanted to get me.
• He's a very content baby and pretty easygoing, and he loves to sleep.
• He's making fewer dirty diapers each day, which probably doesn't excite anyone but me.

Here is the side by side comparison of the 1st and 2nd month pictures. The two month picture was taken right after he'd eaten so his belly is a little swollen. I don't think it's always that fat.
And the bandaids are from his doctor's appointment today; poor baby.

A Picture's Worth...

Probably one of my favorite things about having a baby is being able to get some good use out of the $600 camera I bought for my birthday two years ago. During the fog of the first month I didn't get to take a lot of pictures myself, but for the past couple of weeks I've been experimenting with the camera and a photo editor. These are some of my favorites that I've gotten so far.

Brock doing what he does best... sleeping

I think little baby feet always make for good pictures.

 

Snuggled up in his swing.

The elusive smile, sort of caught on camera. Technically this is just his little half smile/smirk that he does sometimes. I haven't been able to capture the full-blown grin that we occasionally get. I'll catch it sooner or later though!

Chubby little hand. Looks like he's going to need his nails clipped again soon.

Again with the feet... I can't get enough of the tiny toes.

                                                 Sticking out the tongue. 

Anyway, just a few pictures of Mr. B at about 7 weeks old. I'm going to have to get some more storage space on my computer for this little guy. I'm definitely his biggest fan.



One Month... a little late

I've had it in mind that I would like to write a blog post for every month of Brock's first year so I can keep up with how he's changing and what new things he's learning how to do. That being said, I'm already failing to accomplish my goal since the baby is 7 weeks old now and I have yet to write a blog about his first month. But better late than never, right?
 

At his one month checkup on April 19th, Brock weighed 9 pounds, 8 ounces which put him in the 61st percentile. At his followup appointment after being discharged from the hospital (March 28), he had weighed 7 lbs, 7 oz so he had gained 2 pounds in just three weeks! The doctor asked if we had been feeding him steak and potatoes and seemed pleased with his weight gain, especially since he is breastfed. Brock had also grown an inch in length since birth and was 21 inches (50th percentile).

Here are some of Brock's one month accomplishments and patterns:

• He eats every 2.5 to 3 hours during the day and every 3 to 3.5 hours at night.
• He sleeps 16-18 hours a day, unfortunately in the form of 1 to 2 hour naps spread throughout the day rather than consecutively (but I'll take what I can get).
• He will sleep pretty much anywhere we put him and through any noises we make.
• He is having longer periods of awake time but usually no more than 30 minutes at a time.
• He poops about 8 times a day, occasionally more, and needs a diaper change every time he's fed.
• He generally only cries if he needs something or if he has gas.
• He spits up a lot after every feeding, but doesn't seem to be bothered by it.
• He's starting to be able to focus on my and Blaine's faces but only for short periods at a time.
• He always smiles after being fed, although he's asleep so they say it doesn't really count as a social smile yet.
• He loves being bathed and snoozes right through the whole thing.
• He usually has one or two fussy periods a day where he will cry for a little while before he goes to sleep.
• He can turn his head from side to side when on his tummy and lift it up even better when on my shoulder being burped.
• He's not a big fan of tummy time and he doesn't like laying in the playard.
• He loves watching ceiling fans, even if they're not spinning.
• He's very noisy and makes lots of grunting and squeaking sounds when he's both awake and asleep and even when he eats. He also snores occasionally.

Those are just a few things we've noticed in the first month, nothing incredibly significant or amazing yet, but he's changing every day. Hopefully, I can update his second month on time!

A Few of My Favorite Things

After almost six weeks with our little bundle of joy, we have come to realize that there are a few items that have really made our lives so much easier. I thought I'd write a blog post about those particular things just for future reference or to help out any current/potential baby shoppers who might like some suggestions. So here are a few of my favorite things:

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1. The Boppy Lounger

Why We Love It:  This is the cousin of the well-known Boppy feeding support pillow, and in my opinion it needs a new PR person because it's not getting the recognition it deserves. It is the perfect little pillow to lay Brock on because it has a recessed center that his little body fits right down into which keeps him secure and safe from rolling off. This was where he took most of his daytime naps for the first few weeks. We could put the pillow next to us on the couch and have him with us without having to hold him the entire time. It has a wipeable surface that doesn't absorb liquid, which is nice for our little spit-up monster. And last, but not least, we love the Boppy Lounger because Brock really seems to find it comfortable.

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2. The Infant Bathtub

Why We Love It:  I personally am a big fan of equipment that will last us through several years, and this transitional bathtub is one such item. I love it right now because it has a mesh sling for newborns and young infants who can't hold their heads up yet. When the baby is in the sling it rests just on top of the water so his body stays warm in the water but his head doesn't go under. And the sling is removable so I can use the tub until he's able to move to the big bath. Also it comes with three little toys, one that is attached to the tub that I imagine he'll enjoy chewing on when he finally becomes aware of his mouth. Brock gives the tub two thumbs up.

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3. The Angelcare Monitor

Why We Love It: This item has probably given these two new, anxious parents the most peace of mind. It's a regular baby monitor but it's also so much more. There is a sensor pad that goes underneath the crib mattress and detects whether there is movement, such as the baby's breathing. If there is no movement for 20 seconds, a warning beep sounds, then the alarm will beep and vibrate loudly so if the baby stopped breathing for some reason we would be alerted immediately. With all the warnings about SIDS, it can be somewhat nerve-wracking to leave a baby in his crib by himself, but this monitor takes away the need to check on him every 5 minutes to make sure he's still breathing. It can also be used just as a sound monitor only, and it displays the room temperature on both of the mobile handsets it comes with. It's a little pricey, but the peace of mind it has given us (not to mention the peaceful sleep it enables us to have between nighttime feedings) has made it worth the money.

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4. The Snug-a-Bunny Swing

Why We Love It:  I did my research on swings, and this is the payoff. There are so many features I love about this thing, and it is great for those times when no other location in the house seems to do the trick of soothing a crying baby. First of all, the fact that it plugs in is a huge plus and saves us a ton of money on batteries. It is so soft and plush and has a little rattle that the baby can play with. The cradle can be set to swing from side to side or back and forth and there are 6 different speeds. There are 8 different tunes that are easy to listen to, unlike some swings/mobiles that have really obnoxious songs that drown out everything else in the room. And the mobile is really cute too, with a mirror underneath that the baby can look at. Brock likes relaxing in his Snug-a-Bunny throne.

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5. Swaddle Wraps 

Why We Love It: Let's just say these past six weeks would have been unliveable without the swaddle. You don't get much sleep with a newborn, but you get even less if you don't know how to swaddle because their arms are just uncontrollable and seem to be magnetically attracted to the sleeping baby's face, inevitably waking him up. Now, technically, you don't need special swaddle wraps because you can swaddle with a regular blanket, but if you happen to be swaddle-challenged like us and just never can get the blanket to work right, or if you have a Houdini baby like Brock who can somehow bust out of the best swaddle job, then these are highly recommended. We have two different brands, the Woombie swaddle (a little expensive but really easy) and the Summer Infant Swaddle Wrap (velcro wraps that aren't escape-proof but work really well). Brock is sleeping peacefully thanks to his swaddle.

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6. The Infant-to-Toddler Rocker

Why We Love It: Again with the transitional items, this little vibrating rocker chair can be altered so that as your baby becomes a toddler he doesn't outgrow his chair. I opted for this item instead of the typical bouncy seat, and I love it. The legs are the perfect height from the ground so that all I have to do is put my foot underneath the edge and raise my big toe up and down to keep the chair gently rocking. As lazy as that makes me sound, it is really great when I have things to do with my hands and can't bend over to bounce a seat for hours on end. It's very portable and great for times like when I need to take a shower but want to have Brock where I can keep an eye on him. It also has a little mobile that attaches for visual stimulation.

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7. The Diaper Caddy

Why We Love It: Technically, this was just a scrapbooking tote that wasn't being used at the time, but since we didn't have an actual "diaper caddy" like they sell at Babies-R-Us, this functioned nicely as one. This item falls under the lazy parent category again, but seriously when you're running on 2-3 hours of consecutive sleep at a time, these shortcuts are greatly appreciated. When Brock was sleeping in the bassinet in our room, this was great for those nighttime feedings. Our child poops approximately every 2.5 hours (no exaggeration) so after we were already in bed for the evening, we could expect to have to get up to change him at least 3 times a night. The diaper caddy at the foot of our bed made it so much more convenient for Blaine to change the baby at night after I would feed him. Now that we've moved Brock to his crib in his own room, the diaper caddy is kept downstairs in our living room for those times we just don't feel like walking up the stairs to the changing table.

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8. The Diaper Dekor

Why We Love It: Okay, as difficult as it might be to get excited about or sing the praises of a garbage can, this one really is a superior diaper pail. It's one of Blaine's favorite baby items, which is good because he's the one in charge of taking the full bags out to the trash. But I really do think it is superior to the Diaper Genie (no offense to the Diaper Genie supporters out there) just because of the hands-free step pedal you use to lift the lid, and there's no complicated twisting or pushing down of dirty diapers. A little trap door under the lid keeps the smell out perfectly, and it's so easy to change the bags. Yaay for garbage cans!

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9. The Sound Machine

Why We Love It: Sound machines may seem like a silly expenditure, but I'm pretty sure this little device helps our teeny, tiny one soothe himself to sleep. I love this one in particular because it has so many different sounds, it has a timer option or endless play, and it has a little projector that displays on the ceiling. The white noise options include a heartbeat, rain, and the ocean, but it also has three different lullabies you can play too. Brock likes the heartbeat and the ocean sounds. I fell asleep to the ocean sound coming through the monitor yesterday afternoon so if he ever outgrows it, I may find another use for it in my room.

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10. The First Years Feeding Seat

Why We Love It: Well, honestly, we haven't used this yet but I do think it's the best seat out there because I've had experience with others. We chose this instead of a high chair to save space and for portability. There are only three or four products like this that can be used from infancy to toddler years, and this one beats the others because it's easier to put together, easier to clean, easier to adjust, and allows the chair to still fit underneath the table when not in use. If you're in the market for one of these seats, this one is the way to go in my opinion.

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So those are our top ten favorite things. Burp cloths and bibs should probably go in there somewhere too since they make an appearance in every picture of Brock, the king of spit-up, but those things are kind of a given. All these things are really luxury items and aren't necessary for adequate childcare, but they really have made things easier for us, and I'll definitely be giving some of them as future gifts at baby showers!



What day is it?

Brock will be three weeks old tomorrow, and I'm not really sure where the past 21 days have gone. I actually had to look at the calendar to make sure that tomorrow is Saturday because our days have all kind of blurred together. Apparently, the combination of a lack of sleep and being a slave to some tiny, little person's 24-hour schedule make for a general haziness when it comes to an awareness of details like what day of the week it is. But we trudge on with our newborn, thankful at least that he takes great naps on a fairly regular basis, allowing us to have a few moments of sleep here and there.

Brock had some significant first experiences this week. He had his first diaperless poo-splosion (as Blaine referred to it). This was not such a great "first" in my opinion, but Daddy loved it (Daddy also cleaned it all up, so I was thankful for that). We successfully introduced a bottle this week, and I was very excited about that "first" because it meant the possibility of a little freedom for myself from time to time. During "tummy time" Brock has begun to be able to turn his head from one side to another, which is really one of those "firsts" that only a mom and dad are proud of or care anything about, but I wanted to document it anyway. Finally, Brock had his first real bath this week, and he was a big fan. You can really see his enthusiasm in the pictures below.

I'll close with some things I have learned in these first few weeks with a newborn...

• Swaddling is an amazing thing that every parent needs to know how to do. We try not to keep Brock swaddled all day just so that he will eventually learn how to use his arms, but it is very helpful for nap time and at night since his arms like to flail about and wake him up constantly.
• Pacifiers are extremely frustrating. I had planned not to use one but revisited my decision the second night in the hospital after Brock had been using me as a pacifier for nearly an hour (after feeding for an hour). They are helpful for soothing, but he just can't get the hang of keeping it in his mouth which makes him more irritated than before I gave it to him in the first place.
• Baby boys love to pee any time you take their diaper off. In the three short weeks he's been with us, I have already lost count of the number of times he has sprayed us or his surroundings. We're wising up now though and keeping him covered with a washcloth every time we change him.
• With babies, it is very rare that you feel like you know what you are doing. I've never questioned myself so often or been so unsure that I'm doing things the right way (or that there even is a right way!).
• Newborns are a little boring. I think whenever I imagined having my baby, I thought of him more as a 3 month old than a newborn because I envisioned him smiling and cooing at me and being able to do things. That is not the case though. Newborns do not do anything, except sleep, eat, and dirty their diapers... oh, and cry. I'm looking forward to getting a little return for all of my investment.
• It is really easy to love your baby. He may cry all night long or want to be fed every time he's awake or get poo all over me, but for some reason no matter how irritated or exhausted I get, all I have to do is hold him and look at him and I feel nothing but overwhelming love for this tiny little human that somehow came from me.