What have I gotten myself into?!

It's been a few weeks since I updated the blog but mostly because there haven't really been any new developments to talk about. I've mainly just been feeling like the picture to the left indicates. However, after attending our first childbirth class last night I feel a blog update is definitely in order. We're going to be having Brock at Parkridge East hospital in East Ridge, and they offer several educational classes there for parents-to-be, so I signed Blaine and myself up for a "Prepared Childbirth" class that meets twice for three hours each time. The description of this class said it is for the parents "who aren't interested in floor excercises in breathing and relaxation and those who are pretty sure they want an epidural." Since I've known before I was ever even pregnant that I wanted an epidural and that I definitely didn't want to sit around with a bunch of other couples practicing Lamaze, I knew this was the class for us. I respect and admire all the women who do it naturally (my mom included), but that's never been a badge that I aspired to wear so I'll be saying "yes please" to the drugs... and especially after what we witnessed in that class last night!

The information we were given in the class was very helpful, and we were able to take a tour of the hospital to get more familiar with everything. It definitely increased our confidence in knowing what to expect and understanding what the procedures will probably look like. However, the birthing videos they showed the class have left me feeling a little uneasy and nervous. It must just be the impending certainty that looms over me as I get closer to the end of this pregnancy because I have seen childbirth videos before and was even present in the room when my sister-in-law gave birth back in November, but none of that has ever bothered me like those videos last night. Blaine and I both felt a little terror-struck as we learned about the stages of labor and saw the crowning babies. What have we gotten ourselves into??

I might not be as fearful if I hadn't had an ultrasound three weeks ago that seems to indicate our sweet little boy may be a slightly large baby. At 30 weeks, all of his measurements averaged out to be 31 weeks and 5 days which means he is measuring 12 days larger than how many weeks old we think he is. The doctor estimated Brock's weight to be about 4.3 pounds and said that he will gain about a half a pound a week from here on out. For those of you who don't do fast math, that's an expected weight gain of 5 more pounds meaning I could end up with a 9 pound human that I have to somehow get out of my body! Nine pounds... please let the doctor be wrong. But even if the weight is wrong, Mr. Brock already looks to have a slightly large head. The first ultrasound below was Brock's head at 22 weeks. The picture underneath that one is the most recent ultrasound at 30 weeks. You may notice the measurement chart on the left of the picture. The BPD (biparietal diameter) measurement, or the measurement from one side of the head to the other (ear to ear), indicates a gestational age of 35 weeks and 4 days! At 30 weeks, one of the measurements of my child's head is 35 weeks and 4 days! Fortunately the average of all the head measurements only put him at about 32 weeks or so, but good grief... I may just need to prepare myself for a big baby with a large head, two things that I had actually been hoping against.

So now we're nearing the end and maybe entering into a little bit of freak-out mode. It's scary to think of the actual birthing process but scarier still to think that we'll be bringing this new little person home with us and we'll be responsible for him like we've never been responsible for any other person before. It occurred to me as I was clipping my nails the other day that soon I will have someone else's nails to worry about and that I will have to be responsible for this other person's nails for at least the next 10 years (maybe 20 years if he is like his father haha). It is a bit overwhelming.. exciting and awe-inspiring and humbling and amazing, yes... but also overwhelming. I just keep repeating to myself the mantra that I have heard over and over from countless other parents, "It's all worth it." I sure hope so because on this side of things it is one scary-looking ride ahead!